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How to Deal with an Employee with an Attitude
by Laura Benjamin, Colorado Communication Coach and Career Coach
Are you dealing with an employee with an attitude? If I had a nickel for every time a manager faced this issue, I'd be a rich woman! Employees with “attitude” come in two different models – the constructive kind or the destructive kind. Here's how you can tell the difference:
A Constructive Attitude:
This person has been gifted with a strong sense of self. This does not mean they are an egomaniac, rather, it means they are very self-motivated. Typically independent, autonomous, and self-directed, they will go after what they want. They don't recognize obstacles as roadblocks but see them as more of a challenge. Their “attitude” comes from an aura of confidence, which stops short of arrogance. People usually find them fun to be around and since they appear to be successful in life and business, people want to be around them and seek them out. You can count on these folks to eagerly step into a leadership role, whether formal or informal.
A Destructive Attitude:
This person has a chip on their shoulder a mile wide. Their attitude comes from a lack of self-confidence. They may have grown up in an abusive situation, experienced a great deal of trauma, or been criticized throughout their life. Now, they feel they must compensate in some way to prove to the world that they are “good enough”. So you end up dealing with behaviors that include defensiveness, resistance or passive-aggressiveness.
The litmus test here is whether or not you are getting destructive results or if the person is simply quirky and annoying. Let's face it, we all have our unique personalities and we're entitled to them. I'm sure we all have our annoying moments, given the right set of circumstances. That's part of being human. However, if this person's attitude results in performance problems, hurt feelings on a regular basis, and co-workers who are increasingly unwilling to work with this person, then it's time to do something about it.
How to Cope:
Once you know what you're up against, it's much easier to know how to proceed. While you can't change someone's personality, you can approach the situation in a very clear and straightforward manner as follows:
First, focus on the facts of their performance. Performance improvement is the only issue here and the primary goal. Spend some time reviewing their performance goals BEFORE you have a discussion with this person. Make sure you have done your job in setting clear expectations. Evaluate whether you have reinforced those expectations both in writing and verbally during the time they've worked for you. Consider whether you have given them a fair shot at being successful. Too many times, the person annoys us to the point where we'd rather just ignore them (hoping they'll go away on their own) rather than given them the time and attention they really need from us.
Second, discuss the fallout of their behaviors. Call it a coaching session, or just a conversation – the term really doesn't matter. Sit them down and review the performance goals and expectations. Clearly state they are exhibiting behaviors that are impacting their ability to be successful. Be as calm and objective as possible when you deliver this news. Most likely the person will get defensive and they could get angry. That's okay. Your job is to clearly communicate so they know where they stand. Make sure that they acknowledge understanding of what you are telling them. They do not have to agree. This is important! They DO NOT have to agree!
Third, discuss goals. Don't give them a laundry list from here to the North Pole. Keep it short with just one or two goals for the near future. For example: you want them to improve their listening skills. That means they shouldn't turn and walk away from you when you are giving them instructions. It means that they should repeat back what they just heard you say, etc. Goals must sometimes be spelled out at that level of detail in order for some people to understand what you want them to do. “Be professional” isn't clear enough and it's open to a wide range of interpretation.
Fourth, set a follow up meeting to revisit and review their progress. It's not fair to swoop in and coach them on their behavior without caring enough to circle back around and either compliment them on their progress or discuss how to adjust the rudder. Too many times, we let this last step go which ends up demoralizing the folks who work so hard to show us they've worked to make improvements. It also sets you up for continued frustration should they not hit the mark the first time around. If you fail to follow up, and they slip back into their “old ways”, you are as much to blame as they are! People need consistent, gentle but firm pressure to maintain momentum. The most positive way to do this is to consistently revisit the issue with them and either commend them on their progress being clear to point out what they did that was constructive, OR give them a nudge in the right direction if they've headed off the path.
You will find that these strategies help you cope with an employee with an attitude far better than going home at night and reaching for the aspirin!
The information on this web site is copyright © 2001-2008 by Laura Benjamin and Pinehurst Press Ltd. Creative Commons. Some rights reserved. Permission to reprint with attribution please and a live link to http://www.LauraBenjamin.com. Please contact me to complete any "Permission to Use Copyrighted Material" documentation. Thank you in advance!
Laura Benjamin is a Colorado Communication, Career and Marketing Coach, professional speaker, strategic planning facilitator and writer. She is also the Author of The C.A.R.L.A. Concept™: How to Raise an Issue, Prove Your Point and Communicate with Confidence & Clarity. To interview Laura or access her free educational and entertaining audio podcasts, blog posts and articles, please visit www.LauraBenjamin.com.