Colorado communication coach, career marketing coach, business coach, professional public keynote speaker, strategic planning facilitator. Colorado Springs veteran owned business. |
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How to deal with a difficult person, difficult people or difficult personalities
Five Ways to Define a Difficult Person or Who is a Difficult Person? by Laura Benjamin, Interpersonal Communication Coach
How do you define a “difficult person”? The term can mean something totally different for everyone. We start with the definition of what is difficult FOR YOU, because you are the person who matters here. It's not about what other people think or how other people react.
So here are the 5 ways to spot a difficult person:
- Their troublesome behaviors affect most people, but not necessarily all people. If this person's behaviors are impacting your ability to do your job, serve your customers or maintain constructive workplace relationships, then it's a problem worth addressing. Chances are, they are impacting others in the same way too, but those folks just aren't telling you!
- They exhibit behavior that is easily triggered. You can see it coming. If “X” happens, then you know this person will react with “Y” behaviors.
- They exhibit behaviors that are frequent and habitual. It happens repeatedly. You can almost set your clock by it and predict how they will behave.
- Their behaviors result in win-lose outcomes. These folks are not looking for the win-win.
- They typically will not take personal responsibility for the damage they cause to others.
So give it the litmus test. Compare your difficult person in question to the qualities above and see which ones apply. They don't have to meet all 5 categories in order to be a true difficult person, but if they don't meet any at all you might want to ask yourself – are they just having a bad day, or am I?
Copyright © 2008 Laura Benjamin and Pinehurst Press Ltd. All rights reserved. Reprint with permission only. Laura Benjamin is a Communication and Career Coach specializing in interpersonal communication, online communication and career issues. She is Author of The C.A.R.L.A. Concept™: How to Raise an Issue, Prove Your Point and Communicate with Confidence & Clarity. Her Colorado-based company is a woman-owned, veteran owned small business. To join the thousands who enjoy her articles, blog posts and audio programs, please visit www.LauraBenjamin.com