Laura Benjamin's Nov 2007 Communication Tips Newsletter

LAURA'S LETTERS ON COMMUNICATION TIPS
Welcome to our new subscribers from the
Colorado State Pupil Transportation Association
and Colorado Auctioneers Association

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Vol. 8, Number 11 - November 1, 2007
Editor: Laura Benjamin
http://www.LauraBenjamin.com
Published continually since 2000
Copyright©Laura Benjamin International Inc. 2007

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IN THIS ISSUE:
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1. Quotes
2. Communication Quirks, Quips and Quandaries
3. Discussion Point #9: Prove it To Me
4. Resources
5. Shameless You-Know-What
6. Grand Finale

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1. QUOTES
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"Experience is what you get when you don't get what
you wanted." (From the last lecture of Randy Pausch,
a 46 year old computer science professor at Carnegie
Mellon suffering from terminal pancreatic cancer)

"You are today where the thoughts of yesterday have
brought you and you will be tomorrow where the
thoughts of today take you." (Blaise Pascal)

Competitive Hospitality: a term describing the abundant
trinkets, gifts and food bestowed by political candidates
on attendees of the Iowa State Fair in August 2007

More quotes at www.LauraBenjamin.com/teamworkquotes.htm

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2. COMMUNICATION QUIRKS, QUIPS AND QUANDARIES:
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THE DEAD GIVE-AWAY
People are justifiably cautious of how they use their time,
and have become quite good at quickly determining whether
you'll be wasting theirs or not. Take the typical dinner
time telephone call from an Unknown Number where the first
words you hear are, "How are you doing this evening, Ms.
Benjamin?" In an instant I know what I'm up against. The
words are unmistakable. So why do managers allow their
phone folks to open with that cheesy line? Beats me.

Here's another one. You're at a networking event and
someone approaches you to introduce themselves. After you
exchange pleasantries, they ask if they might schedule a
meeting with you to (and here come the magic words) "find
out more about you and what you do." Now, some of you
might think I'm being overly critical or cynical to be
suspicious of these seemingly innocent words. But here's
the thing - most of the time, those folks have no real
interest in finding out more about YOU and what you DO,
other than to try and promote what THEY do. Their real
objective is to find out what YOU can DO for THEM.

So, if you really are sincerely interested in the other
person and it's not just all about trying to promote your
agenda, let's find another phrase or two to use. How about:

- the truth. "I'm looking for folks I can collaborate with
and perhaps if we have coffee we might discover some ways
we can help each other."

- transparency. "I have an XYZ I'm trying to get out
into the mktplace and wonder if you'd grant me a brief
meeting so I can pick your brain a bit."

But for goodness sakes, can we drop the phrase, "I'd
like to find out more about what you do"? It's a dead
give-away. And there should be a better way.

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FACILITATION FOLLY?
Rather than asking folks, "Did that make sense?" when
gauging your audience or trying to solicit feedback,
it may be better to say:
- Am I making my point?
- Am I overlooking anything?
- What questions do you have?
- What am I leaving out?
It's a subtle thing, but people report that when someone
asks, "Did that make sense?" they feel like you're implying
that they're stupid. (Let me know your thoughts on this)

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3. DISCUSSION POINT #9: PROVE IT TO ME
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In these days of high concern about employee retention,
customer loyalty, perceived membership value and even
student enrollment, it's amazing how many ways we subtly
communication to folks that they're not really part of
the gang...not just yet anyway.

We withhold full acceptance and hold them at arms length
until they prove themselves. In some cultures, this can
take a very, very long time. So long, that the new
person may quickly figure out they just don't fit -
they don't feel like they belong. And away they'll go.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:
- Do we find ourselves asking, after the new person has
raised an issue, voiced a concern or suggested a new idea,
"...and HOW long have you been here?"
- How many times do we tell the new person, "You just
don't quite understand our ___________ (models, culture,
uniqueness, history, heritage, etc.)
- Have we ever questioned someone's ability to give an
important presentation or attend a high level meeting
based only on the length of time they've been with the
organization?
- Do we view that person based on their knowledge and
experience throughout their career (holistically) rather
than only within the context of their time at your site?

POINT: You spent a lot of time and money searching for
high quality candidates and then you finally find them.
Be sure you don't shortchange those folks once they're
finally on board because of internal parochial attitudes.
Make the effort to put their talents to use as quickly
and comprehensively as possible. To do otherwise is to
cheat them and your organization as well.

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4. RESOURCES
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You may get a kick out of the articles on my blog -
quite different content than this newsletter for sure.
You can see the new blog at LauraBenjamin.com or read
the earlier posts at http://laurabenjamin.wordpress.com

Don't miss the other articles posted under "Tools" too!

Recent Reading Recommendations:
-Brazen Careerist: New Rules for Success, Penelope Trunk
-Emotional Design: Why We Love (or hate) Everyday Things,
by Donald A. Norman
-It's Only Too Late if You Don't Start Now: How to Create
Your Second Life After Forty, Barbara Sher
-Refuse to Choose: A Revolutionary Program for Doing
Everything That You Love, Barbara Sher

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5. SHAMELESS YOU-KNOW-WHAT
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What's Laura up to these days?

INTERNET MKTG. COACHING ON WEBSITES AND BLOGS:
-Dr. Linda Seger, Scriptwriting Consultant, Author, Speaker
(lindaseger.com)
-Judith Claire, Los Angeles Relationship, Career Counselor
(judithclairecounseling.com)
-Lynne Rosiak, Life Quest Mentor Coach, Speaker
(lifequestmentoring.com)
-Felice Rhiannon, Yoga Instructor, Therapist, Speaker
(transformativeyoga.com)

SPEAKING & FACILITATION:
Mountain Post Historical Center at Fort Carson, Executive
Board Strategic Planning Session, Nov 8, Colorado Springs

Professional Women's Express Network, Jan 11, "The Power
of Passion: Discoveer and Feed Your Entrepreneurial Spirit"

Adams 12 Five-Star School District Transportation In-service,
Feb 8, 2008, "How to Build a Positive Attitude in Changing
and Challenging Times", Broomfield CO

CAREER COACHING, LEADERSHIP COMMUNICATION COACHING
Names withheld for obvious reasons!

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6. GRAND FINALE
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DISCLAIMER: (The lawyers wanted this) Laura Benjamin or her
company are not responsible or liable for actions resulting
from any information contained in this newsletter. Articles
are not to be interpreted as legal or medical advice. Laura
is not a lawyer or a therapist.

Warm regards
Laura Benjamin

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