Laura Benjamin's Newsletter on Interpersonal Communication Skills

(Perfect for managers, teachers, educators, parents and young adults too!)

LAURA'S LETTERS: COMMUNICATION TIPS
I welcome your comments. Please send in topics you'd
like to see covered in this newsletter or on my blog.
I respond to every email. (The courteous ones, anyway!)

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Vol. 8, Number 12 - November 30, 2007
Editor: Laura Benjamin
http://www.LauraBenjamin.com
Published continually since 2000
Copyright©Laura Benjamin International Inc. 2007

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IN THIS ISSUE:
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1. Quotes
2. Communication Quirks, Quips and Quandaries
3. Laura's Recent Blog Posts
4. The Courage To Be Yourself
5. Discussion Point #10: Diversity Backlash
6. Resources
7. Shameless You-Know-What
8. Grand Finale

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1. QUOTES
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"Your fears are not walls, but hurdles. Courage is
not the absence of fear, but the conquering of it."
(Dan Millman)

"Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single
courageous step would carry us clear through them."
(Brendan Francis)

"Going after anything worthwhile in life entailed risk;
a man of ambition and courage didn't let that stop or
delay him. A man accepted the dangers, the elements of
chance. If he didn't, he won nothing." (John Jakes)

"I gain strength, courage and confidence by every
experience in which I must stop and look fear in the
face. I say to myself, I've lived through this and can
take the next thing that comes along. We must do the
things that we think we cannot do." (Eleanor Roosevelt)

More teamwork quotes here

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2. COMMUNICATION QUIRKS, QUIPS AND QUANDARIES
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"Please listen carefully - our menu has changed."
Perhaps there are some people who call all the time,
have these prompts memorized and would be extremely
upset if they punched the wrong number. However, many
of us are calling you for the first time. Am I the only
one who feels this message really isn't necessary? And
the crazy thing is, many companies leave this message up
for six months or more! It's kinda like the folks who
come back from vacation and keep telling us for three
more weeks that they're still on vacation. (Perhaps in
more ways than one, eh?) Then the kicker is, they get
offended when you remind them their vacation message is
still on the recording!

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"I don't know WHO you talked to when you made the
appointment, but...." were the words she spoke. What I
HEARD was, "While we might have made the mistake, YOU
are the one who will be inconvenienced, not us."

All this on a day I was going out of town for a week,
still a million things yet to do, AND had called the
day before to make the appointment so my cat would be
comfortable before we left. They would no longer give
him the monthly steroid shot that keeps him from
scratching himself to pieces, until I brought him in
for a full exam. This was the very first time I'd heard
of this requirement. And what a time to hear it!

While it made sense to schedule the checkup, it did NOT
make sense to tell the customer at the eleventh hour
that they can't get the service they've received all
along unless they do something you didn't ask them to
do ahead of time.

Your customers aren't going to take bad news any easier
because your staff starts with the phrase, "I don't know
WHO you talked to, but...."

Better to say, "Our apologies. We made the mistake.
Let's see how we can make this easier for you."

Oh, and then the comment that was the icing on the cake?
"Well, we'll do it for you JUST this ONE time!"

Anyone know a good vet?

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3. LAURA'S MOST RECENT BLOG POSTS
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- Blind, Dyslexic Audiobooks for Vets and Recovering
American Soldiers
- Cyber Bullying Must Stop
- Field and Stream Huntress Posts Laura's First Buck
- Thanksgiving Support for an American Soldier
- National Anthem on Disabilities Awareness Day
(just to name a few)

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WHAT IS A BLOG? WANT TO LEARN HOW TO SET ONE UP?
Call me at your convenience and we'll discuss what you
want it to do for you, your non-profit, business group,
association or company. I can walk you through it over
the phone or in person. It's fast and easy.

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4. THE COURAGE TO BE YOURSELF
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There is no shortage of people who urge us to be ourselves.
One of my favorite quotes from Dr. Seuss is, "Be who you
are and say what you think, because those who mind don't
matter and those who matter don't mind." Great advice.
And here are the pre-requisites to help you begin:

1. Self-awareness. We must learn the words and language that
defines our talents, strengths and ways we positively impact
others. We might know through experience what it feels like
when we strike a chord and get good outcomes, but research
proves it's hard to describe the qualities that got us to
that point. Mostly because people don't like to brag about
themselves, but also because we often come up short in our
search for the right words. Ask others where your strengths
lie, take the assessments, make lists - capture the words.

2. Self-sacrifice. Margaret Thatcher said, "Standing in the
middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down
by traffic from both sides." Yet we're often afraid to move
because we know we'll have to sacrifice by choosing. Is it
better to be occasionally nicked by traffic and worn down
gradually, or run the risk of taking it "full on" from one
side or the other? You'll alienate some, but the strength
you'll gain from knowing exactly where you stand and the
freedom you'll feel by not pretending any longer will
build courage and confidence exponentially.

3. Willingness to Act. "Do not ask the Lord to guide your
footsteps if you're not willing to move your feet" from
Isaiah 65:24 sums it up. We can read "The Secret" until
we know the words by heart, but at some point we've got
to move our feet to make something happen. If you don't
like the way life is going, do something different. Get
some new friends, find a new job, speak up or stop doing
things that get you nowhere. It's amazing how taking one
small step in a new direction triggers new results. Daily
aspirations are great, but we just can't just stand there
wishing things would be different.

Sound too simple? Simple yes; easy no.

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5. DISCUSSION POINT #10: DIVERSITY BACKLASH
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The City of Denver produced a video for diversity training
then yanked it after an employee said it unfairly singled
out white people as racist and sexist. Actually, in a radio
interview with Dan Caplis and Craig Silverman, Denver talk
show hosts and attorneys, employee Dennis Supple said he had
to repeatedly urge Human Resources and City Administration to
pull the video, "Laughing Matters". He was told it wasn't a
biased video and that they'd won an award for the production.

Supple's position? He felt it unfairly characterized only
white, male, blue collar workers as racist and sexist.

What do you think? Read the Denver Post article and see a clip
of the video at denverpost.com/news/ci_7573080

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:
- On a scale from 1-10 with 10 being greatest, how big of a
problem is discrimination, racism, sexism and harassment in
your organization, school or community?
- Is there such a thing as reverse discrimination and how do
you know it exists?
- If you do have a Diversity Program, how effective is it in
terms of curbing insensitive jokes and behaviors? (1-10) How
seriously is it taken? Why or why not?
- Assuming there is a problem within your organization, school
or community group, how would you recommend it be addressed?
- What benefits, if any, come from discussing issues like
profiling, reverse discrimination, assumptions we make about
age, socio economic, cultural, religious, etc. stereotypes?
- How does the line from Hamlet, "The lady doth protest too
much, methinks", apply to the Denver video "Laughing Matters"?
(hint: there are two sides to this coin)

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6. RESOURCES
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WORDS THAT WORK, by Frank Luntz
This book is outstanding! Based on decades of market and
demographic research, Mr. Luntz reveals the Top 10 Rules
of Effective Communication. You don't have to be a political
person to appreciate the advice he's given Presidential
candidates and CEO's on how to communicate with the public.
If you're in PR, Human Resources, the C-Suite, aspiring to
or holding political office, or a teacher, then this book is
a must-read! (or if you're a language junkie like me!)

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HAVE YOU BRANDED YOURSELF LATELY? (No, not that kind!) This
is about how you position yourself within the market, what
you stand for and how you communicate it to attract and keep
the right customers. Now you can take the first steps easily
online with the help of the Brand Ascension Group's webinar
series. It begins in Jan 2008, and now's the time to get all
the specifics at BrandAscension.com
(Note: Laura receives no you-know-what for this post)

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7. SHAMELESS YOU-KNOW-WHAT
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What is Laura up to these days?

LEADERSHIP COMMUNICATION COACHING: presently with a
large healthcare organization

WEBSITE AND BLOG COACHING: how to get the most from your
site, create emotionally compelling language and content,
maximize search results, understand what your webmaster
is really saying, how to save costs, etc. (Particularly
helpful for non-profits and independent business owners)

SPEAKING AND FACILITATION:

Matrix Design Group Planning and Engineering Firm, Dec 7,
"DiSC Team Communication Styles,
Flying Horse Golf Club, Colorado Springs CO

Mountain Post Historical Center at Fort Carson Executive
Leadership Strategic Planning, Dec 6, Experience Colorado
Springs Convention & Visitors Bureau

Professional Women's Express Network, Jan 11, "The Power
of Passion: Discover and Feed Your Entrepreneurial Spirit"

Adams 12 Five-Star School District Transportation In-service,
Feb 8, 2008, "How to Build a Positive Attitude in Changing
and Challenging Times", Broomfield CO

National Association of Purchasing Management, Southern
Colorado, May 22, 2008, "Teamwork: There IS an 'I' in Team"
Interactive teambuilding preview presentation with Team
Talent assessment, Antlers Hotel, Colorado Springs CO

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8. GRAND FINALE
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Warm regards
Laura Benjamin

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